Update...food, fitbit. fitness and life

Hey guys,

Since my last blog post about my struggles I have felt so much better, I've been plodding on food wise with a good balance, had a weekend away involving lots of bad food and alcohol (oops) and just pretty much maintained where I am at. I've learnt not to be hard on myself anymore, I don't stress over eating carbs (yes I got to a point where I was scared to eat them in case I gained weight) I just look back and I feel grateful I have overcome a dark place I was in.

So what now?
I need to up my game, still not happy where I am, I need to snap into weight loss mode, not plodding on mode(minus the scales) I know what to do and I have set some rules for myself to which I will stick by, well just the one rule really 'LIVE YOUR LIFE ASWELL' I learnt the hard way and deprived myself for 13 months, if it takes me a year to get where I want to be then you know what so be it, it's a journey not a race.

Something I must improve on, I have a gym membership so I need to use it as when I go I love it and can smash a really good session, booking in for some classes this week, HELP!!

So I have 1 month to prepare myself for a 10k run, no pressure Kez, no pressure, do I panic yet? I'm not a runner at all. I much prefer other things however it's a goal, a focus and something I am determined to do, any tips for me to help me along? The last run I did was 5k I think within 3 minutes I was shouting 'I'm dying' ... 'I'm dead'... 'Save me' erm and I'm not even joking!! How I managed it and an inflatable obstacle course after I do not know... LOL

The 10k is in a big hilly park, erm... so yeah, kind of jumped in at the deep end here haven't I? I'll be the one at the back, red sweaty and probably shouting that I'm dying again. I'm not doing it against the clock though I'm doing it so I can focus on something and achieve something. I enjoy doing things I would never of done before, like I randomly got a tattoo last weekend, I just said to myself 'I'm going to do something random today'

I like being random and doing spontaneous things, I've booked in to give blood in 3 weeks, booked in for a piercing and I'm even signing back up to uni (even if my documents got lost in the post and I have to wait again) but yeah the way I see it now is life is for living I want to enjoy it and do crazy things!

So this is the fun bit....

I've had my little devices for a while now LOVE THEM I've gone from someone who didn't know what a cross trainer was to someone who loves walking and when I go to the gym I can smash an hours hard work, so I need to get back there and sort it!!

Fitbit's are brilliant little gadgets that encourage you to move more, lots of choices and lots of different features.

Features include from different models: Sleep tracking, workout tracking, heartbeat monitor, on screen work outs, caller ID, swim proof, clock and SO much more. Something for everyone for every budget.

Check out what features you'd like on yours here:


What I use my fitbits for: (you can have more than one per account)

Alta - Every day use, step tracking, sends me my texts, move alarm and it looks really pretty, you can change the straps too.

One - Little gadget to fit in your pocket, perfect for counting them steps

Charge HR - Tracking my workouts, heart rate, calories burnt, distance - perfect for running and the gym.

Challenge - Starting Monday 26th
I need a challenge, does anyone fancy jumping on it with me? 20k steps a day for 4 weeks in a row

my fitbit name is targetlittleblackdress@gmail.com

drop me a message and we can all join in a challenge to get moving and get fit, we can check in with each other to see how we are all getting on, spur each other on, think of Christmas and those party outfits.

 I want to feel at my best it's been a while!!!

Time to be happy...

Since my last blog post I feel so much better in myself, my thoughts and feelings needed to be aired, I just couldn't carry on being this 'perfect slimming worlder' as that really isn't me.

The big question this week has been 'Was I happy with my size at target?' the blunt answer is 'I DON'T KNOW' I never enjoyed being slim... it has been a constant battle. I am around 12lbs above target weight at present.

A lot of people have commented on how much healthier I look now in regards to my size and my skin and probably the fact I have a huge smile on my face. My target weight took me to a size 8 and sometimes on top a 6, it felt amazing but I can't help but feel for me it was hard to maintain.

I'm going to find a happy medium here, a place where I feel happy and this time it isn't about the numbers on the scales, it's about me, how I feel.

I lived for losses and I lived for awards at group, pretty sad looking back, I got a buzz from it but that being said it was addictive, if you have read my previous posts you will see why.

I tried to be happy, convinced myself I was happy and BOOM it all blew up and it's safe to say the scales broke me.

Time to be happy...

This is the time now where I'm learning a lot about myself, I hit target almost 6 months ago so I've been 'slim' for 6 months but I haven't enjoyed it because my focus was on the scales.

As long as I find a happy balance in myself I know I can be happy. I'm going by how my clothes fit now with the odd check on the scales, gym work too once my knee decides to be nice to me and of course running.

A huge weight has been lifted since I left group, I haven't binged, I have been quite in control and I like that a lot. I'm going to introduce a treat night once a week soon, when I feel 100% in myself again, something to look forward to.

I'm trying to embrace the new curvier me, I fit perfectly into size 10s now which was always a dream, pushing myself for them size 8s broke me, it's a label and a number that's all, I just NEED to feel happy in myself and as the days go on it's getting better.

It doesn't matter what you weigh, what size clothes you wear the most important thing is being happy.

Thank you...

The support from social media has been amazing, I was so scared to speak out about my struggles, I see so many target success stories and the fear of putting my side out there was really scary, but I appreciate everyone's support so much.

Mission now is learn to love myself as I am and enjoy my new life. It's not about the scales anymore it's about enjoying everything I missed out on. I spent 12 years overweight, obese and morbidly obese. I was a young mum stuck in the house eating through my loneliness. I intend to live life to the full now, I'm a little crazy and random but it's time to make up for lost time, if I want to do something I certainly won't be holding back.

Thanks for reading as always. Comments are always welcome xxx

As you know there has been weight gain since target......

I'll never be back there I guess I am just work in progress, ready to find my happy place



Moving On

Hey Hey Hey! I just need to do this to move on


So yeah, in 13 months I lost 10 stone on the Slimming World plan, which I am still very very proud of, with that comes pressure. I was Kerry who lost 10 stone, who everyone looked up to, who everyone asked for advice, who everyone gasped at, who would get spoke about to friends/family. I found this very hard to deal with, I'm just me and always have been.

I found it very hard to live up to the 'perfect Slimming World member' when I was loosing weight I guess I was but there was problems with that too (see previous blog post) but at target behind closed doors I was fighting old habits, binging but then pulling back for days on end hardly eating just so I could be 'Kerry who lost 10 stone' that's no life, it was a strange obsession for months on end, binge all day then not eat properly, it hit a nerve...obsessions/addictions whatever you may call them can lead to dark places, I didn't want to go down this route, I couldn't. I lost my mum when I was 2 because she had some problems herself, it hit home and I knew I had to change.

Since hitting target I have pretty much binged, pulled it back and binged and pulled it back because I feel like I've been thrown in the deep end with nothing to focus on apart from a number on the scales, since hitting target I needed the support more than ever.

Instagram I used to feel pressured to be perfect however I do take great comfort knowing posting my struggles can help someone else in the same position.


Is when it all went a bit wrong, my own fault, I spiralled but because I was enjoying things I didn't before, I knew my obsession/habits had to change... it started with holiday, I ate and ate and ate because I could and started the whole 'guilty' feelings which made me eat more.

I also have recently got back in contact with some family members who are very special to me which lead into nights out of drinking and bad food, being an only child with no parents is tough so family really does mean to world to me, to me these moments in life are special and scales don't matter, making memories is more important.

However this then lead to more fun with friends more alcohol, more bad food and then that leaves me here in this little old mess I'm in.


Bad feelings about myself rubs off on others, something I had no idea I was doing, I was in this crazy little 'eat what I want' bubble but getting stressed and snappy over silly little things, beating myself up, over thinking about life and I haven't been in a good place. It took someone I care about to say how I had affected them and it hit home, it was never my intention to make anyone feel bad or bring them down, my problems clearly were not helping anyone.

What now?

I've left my Slimming World group for my sanity, I don't want to live my life based on numbers, it's pretty obvious for me personally it's too much. I want to be me now, not Kerry who lost 10 stone, I want to be my own person and to grow into who I want to be become, I'm 31 and have so many things in life I want to achieve, I missed out on so much when I was overweight.

I stood on the scales and cried my eyes out, stood in the mirror and had a cry too, I've not gained 10 stone back, far from and it's not even that much of a gain but it's how I feel in myself.

Today I woke up positive, ready and very very aware of what's happened this past month. I've forgiven myself, I've taken pictures and it's not the end of the world, it's a hurdle I just need to get over.


So in-between the crazy month I did my first 5k - shocking effort but I tried haha. October 23rd I do a 10k so its gym gym gym and train, something to focus on, I'll be using my fitbit devices which I will blog about very soon.

New Beginnings

My new chapter in life is just beginning, I just needed to let it all out to move forward. Getting to target hasn't made me happier instantly, it's been hard work fighting my own demons I guess but to me it's no longer 'target' it's about being happy in myself and for now that's work in progress, no scales, no pressure I just want to live my life, I will of course be eating healthy, I have to. However I feel the instant ease knowing I don't have to weigh every week and plan my life around the sad step.

Loosing weight is brilliant but nobody prepares you for how you feel when you want to live your new slimmer life, you feel punished for enjoying things you couldn't and didn't before. I am trying to find my balance, trying to ease up on myself and trying to chill a little.

WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED!!!! Thanks for reading....I managed without crying or eating a grab bag of m&ms - yes kezza hi 5's all round, though I could murder a kebab but I will have an apple.


The issue is me....

Hey guys, this is a really really long one. Apologies.

The Journey.....

I wanted to get it all into one post, my whole journey and my feelings now.

So yeah lets go back to 26th January 2015 when I joined Slimming World, I was getting bigger, sadder and more depressed about my size, I knew something had to change. I grew up without my mum she sadly passed away when I was two, the thought of my children having no mum growing up terrified me, it's something I've never had, a bond with a parent is something I lacked in my life and looking back had a lot to deal with my weight issues.

Anyway, moving on I was doing amazing at Slimming World, the weight was dropping off me which was amazing but looking back now it was unhealthy for me and my mind. I made crazy sacrifices and it got to a point where I was scared to eat things. Your opinion may change of me now, I've never talked about this before but you know what why sugar coat things?

I used to be scared of syns, I had them but hated myself after, I didn't enjoy holidays, going out with friends and I even took scales out when I went to eat for meals, some may call it focused and determined looking back now I just think I was bloody crazy!

I hit a loss of 9 stone 2lbs on my 52nd week of Slimming World, this is the point where things went rocky for me, the pressure finally hit me and I sat in group that day in front of everyone and I sobbed like a baby, I felt relief because I pushed so hard for it and I finally did it, I had a couple of rocky weeks then hit target of a 10 stone loss, this for me is when my problems started. I thought I was a strong person but this proved otherwise.

Target, another journey begins...

I was able to enjoy food without the fear of gaining weight I thought, however this has since triggered old habits, I am either a Slimming World angel or a PIG there is no in between. Because I didn't enjoy the plan whilst actively loosing weight I just pressured myself way too much its now causing me problems, old habits are kicking in and that scares me.

It's a massive deal for me to address this all with everyone and myself, I struggle a lot of the time when people say I am an inspiration when in fact I'm sat there looking at my phone with a grab bag of m&ms and a kebab, yes it's happened before!!! LOL

I was way too obsessed in weight loss mode and it's causing me problems now, so my advice for everyone would be to enjoy your life too, learn to love the plan, live with the plan and just remember it's only a number on the scales.

I am learning to live my life again now, I can wear the clothes I have always wanted to and do the things I love and I know food will happen and weight will change. I've decided not to focus on 'being at target' it's a number as long as I'm happy and enjoying my life that to me is more important.

I spent my whole 20s overweight and depressed, I need to stop being hard on myself and enjoy my life, my target weight is 9 stone 6lbs and as soon as it hits 10 stone that's when I need to pull it back which is exactly what I have seen this morning, I'll never be that person again and I am determined to try and beat these old habits.

Sometimes we all need to step back and take a look at the bigger picture, is our weight worth stressing over for the rest of our lives? My moto now is life is for living, I have been SO hard on myself this week but with the support of my online friends & followers I'm here now typing this saying you know what it's going to be ok. I like that we can reach out and help others going through the same struggles, it really means a lot.

So yeah, there you have it my crazy old feelings, a huge high 5 for reading this far haha.


Stay true to yourself and be honest about things, if you're struggling speak up, pressure is also no good for anyone and also enjoy the ride, take the scenic route if you must but just give yourself a pat on the back every day because at least you're trying.


10 stone loss in pictures - YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Hi guys!! Just a little update from me, had lots of questions lately so doing a blog post to cover it all

I took pictures along the way, it really helped see my progress as sometimes we can't always see. I often get asked many questions about my weight loss so I am hoping I can cover some here....

How did you loose so quick?
I stuck to plan every week, I didn't go over syns or have a cheat night, have faith in the plan it really works.

How did you stay motivated?
I was doing it for me, I was my own motivation, I just pushed myself for the results I wanted

Do you have loose skin?
Yes I do, however it can be covered with clothes, toned in the gym and worked on. I would much rather have some loose skin than be 10 stone heavier, I get SO many messages saying people are worried about the loose skin... DON'T BE!!

Lots of water, speed food, change your food and healthy extras as much as possible

Did you exercise?
Honestly, not really. I'm fairly active anyway but the exercise started once I hit target.

Would you be a Slimming World consultant?
I get asked this often, the answer is no, it's not for me. I love attending group and helping out but I like sitting down through image therapy, I couldn't stand there in front of people and try to motivate them, I haven't got it in me I don't think. I'm very happy as a member.

Did you eat all your syns?
It varied from day to day, nothing was off the menu, some days I had 5 and some 15 I just went with the flow.

Fitbit update....

I've been a busy bee, it's me and my Fitbit against the world every day, I love it! It keeps me on track and keeps me going seeing them numbers go up.

I've recently joined a new gym and I have been mostly using my Charge HR model, which can I just say is brilliant, it tracks steps and workouts along with your heart rate.

So where do I start? Lets start with measurements...

Since I have started using my Fitbit models, they have encouraged me to move more as well as exercise, so the results are in...

Waist - (-4 inches)
Thighs - (-1 inch per thigh)
Bust - (-2 inches)
Hips - (-2 inches)

I'm CHUFFED, my weight has remained the same, it just shows that moving more pays off! I feel smaller, in fact I feel great, so much more energy.

This is THEN and NOW

10 stone heavier and NOW which is 10 stone lighter plus my Fitbit results, my aim is to tone up and it's working!


I joined a new gym, I was a member of a previous gym but just didn't find the time to go, I woke up one day and had a word with myself, the home workouts were fab but they just were not giving me the results I wanted, I wanted to push myself that little bit harder.

So it has been me my Fitbit Charger HR, and my Fitbit accessories of course!!

I've been doing some cardio, arm and leg work.

I've taken this shot just from my leg work.... using Charge HR model

Out of the gym

I'm still moving more and tracking exercise, I thought the stats from mowing the lawn were quite interesting, it was a hot day and the grass was pretty long but it just goes to show...

The day I mowed the lawn it was leg day at the gym, I did lots of gardening and I really didn't stop moving, I had some great stats from that day....


It's been such a crazy few months, reaching my goal weight and working on me through fitness. I've never felt better, I have so much more energy, so much more motivation and I love working on myself for myself. Fitbit is such a fab device it motivates me so much every single day, it's pushed me to reach for them goals, move more and become fitter. I can't wait to see where I am in another few months.

A mid afternoon stroll with the children in the park and I was already over 20k...

I feel like a new person - Thank you Fitbit!!!!

Turning 31 and finally happy with ME

Hi guys, I've been a bit awol lately, I apologise to put it quite bluntly I've been enjoying life. I have so much more confidence now, so much more energy and I have been making the most of life with my beautiful family.

I turned 31 in May, and for once the number didn't bother me, I feel the best I have ever felt, what's a number?

I can see the difference in myself so much now looking back at pictures

I would never have a mirror selfie before that's for sure. It's amazing what you gain from loosing weight!!!

Happy me


London & Weight Gain

So I went to London with my husband I declared it 'off plan' I enjoyed the things I didn't have for 13 months, I went over the top not going to lie, I ate for the fun of it, think of everything bad for you, yep I ate it even when I wasn't hungry.

Will I ever do it again? No - This was a one off for sure, I went way over the top and it isn't big or clever it was a case of 'I'm off plan lets shove all the food I can in my mouth' that's not a healthy state of mind however I felt I needed it as crazy as that sounds, it's done and I drew the line as soon as I got home which I am proud off, I'm still in control.

Did I feel guilty? Nope

Did I put weight on? Yep, what did I expect after being a complete pig!

Remember the majority of a gain isn't fat, it's 'water weight'


Monday: 13.5lbs over target
Tuesday: 10 lbs over target
Wednesday: 7.5lbs over target
Thursday: 7lbs over target
Friday: 6lbs over target
Saturday: 5.5lbs over target
Sunday: 4lbs over target
Monday: 2lbs over target

What did I do?

  • Food optimised 100%
  • 5 syns a day
  • LOTS of water & green tea
  • Exercise
What now? Carry on with food optimising, don't stress and enjoy life, simple as that.

I looked at the bigger picture and I will never be 10 stone heavier I am 100% in control.

My adventure

First break away without the children, early birthday present for me and it was our wedding anniversary.

So where do I start? We got the coach from Birmingham, absolute bargain of £25 return, National Express really have changed, leather seats, lots of room and you can charge your phone WINNING!

We booked to stay at The Doubletree by Hilton, located next to The Tower of London, absolutely fantastic location, stunning hotel with a rooftop bar with amazing views.
We got there really early but they let us check in at 10am as they had a room and greeted us with warm cookies, who turns down a warm cookie? NOT ME!
The room was beautiful, really spacious and equipped with a fridge, lovely selection of tea/coffee and water. The best feature was the Apple iMac, first thing we did was Skype our kiddies, such a good feature.

Can I point out how AMAZING the breakfast is at this place? WOW. Buffet style and wow what a buffet, huge variety of cooked food, huge variety of cereal, porridge, fruit, toppings, juice then muffins, jam, croissants the works! I even had waffles and whipped cream! AMAZING.

I won't bore you with every detail but we went to loads of places, soaked up the London atmosphere and had the most amazing time.

The week after.....

I lost a further 5.5lbs and was sitting comfy in target - CHUFFED

There's a first time for everything...

So tomorrow I am going 'off plan' for the weekend, celebrating my wedding anniversary and my birthday. Going off plan is something I have never done, but I have told myself it's OK!!. When loosing weight I even stayed 100% on plan when I went on holiday but you know what it was worth it, it got me to where I am today.

I have a plan of action in place...

  • Enjoy myself and DON'T feel guilty
  • Walk where I can instead of the tube
  • Use the hotel gym
The breakfast is a buffet style one (uh oh) this means... sausages, bread, cakes etc but I will be eating without feeling guilty, we have also booked a table at the most amazing BBQ food place too!!

Now at target I can relax a little, I know I will gain weight but I know I can put the steps in place to get back into target, I don't want to spend my life stressing over scales, I'm going to enjoy some 'balance'

For now... BRING ON THE FOOD!!

I will do an updated blog with lots of pictures when I am home. I am also taking my Fitbit to track my steps and activity, gym wear is packed.

Toodles for now


Happy & Confident

There is so much more to loosing weight, it's about the life you gain. It sounds cheesy but it's so true! Would I wear a playsuit before? Hell no and I certainly wouldn't wear bright lipstick!

I'm 31 next month and I spent all of my 20s overweight so it's time to enjoy wearing nice things, I just hope someone will tell me if I am 'too old' to wear something haha!

Maintaining at target

I thought I would do a little update on how I am finding it a few weeks in, the best thing is it's SO nice to relax a little, I really powered through my weight loss journey and I have no regrets about it at all, however I made a lot of sacrifices to get the result I wanted, so I am now enjoying the little things I didn't have.

I have learnt to 'balance' if I want some cake I will, in moderation and in my syns, straight back on it after, seems to be working ok. My weight hasn't been bang on the target weight every week, I think that would be hard it has been up and down but I have realised it's ok, weight will fluctuate but as long as I am in control and in target range that's all that matters. At the moment the way I feel life is amazing!! Slimming World has changed my world.

Some snaps from the weekend....

Same person, 2 family parties and 10 stone difference. See the body language? You can tell I am nervous, ashamed and unsure in the first one.